Changes Part 1

My life has changed the last few years.  I ended my 20s alone and wondering if life was just passing me by.  I had seen people I knew go through all of life’s transitions like dating, marriage, family, careers, and so on.  I smiled and listened as they talked about how their weekends were filled with activities that I could only dream of.  I got to a point that I finally just realize that perhaps my time will come eventually or that it wasn’t meant to be.

After a year of focusing on my work life I hit a few bumps in the road.  One of those bumps was my health.  I was in denial  that I was working too hard and not taking care of myself.  One week I had gotten sick with what I thought was a simple cold.  I didn’t think much of it.  That cold took me out for while.  I was exhausted and just not able to function much.  On top of that my uncle suddenly passed away.  My mother was beside herself and I was very numb.  Not only was I working hard I also began to live in my own virtual world online with friends who I would communicate with at odd hours during the day.  I admit at the time I had a problem.  I became a totally different person.  My family couldn’t recognize me.  I felt as if the world had passed me on and I just needed to find a place where I could just live and not be different.  Where I could be myself and have all the things that I had dreamed of.  For a person who didn’t have a boyfriend and not all the teenage experiences in her life I wanted so badly to just have a taste of it.  So for a while my body couldn’t even keep up with my lifestyle.  With the stress of my work life and than my family life I just dove more into my virtual world.  My family was very concerned.  I went to the memorial and didn’t shed much of a tear until my body began to give away.  Even my relatives had seen the difference in me.  When I told them what had been going on they begged me to stop and just return to the real world.  At 29 I thought what was there for me?  I lived in this cookie cutter world where I just couldn’t fit in.  After I got better from the cold my body just couldn’t keep up with all that I had done to it.  It got so bad that my already underweight body was almost completely gone.

To be continued…

52 comments

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