Have you ever had a morning where you are just not sure what is happening in your life? I have woken up like this the last few days. I have tried to keep myself busy so I would not be missing my son so much. I am glad that he is visiting his father. I just realized yesterday how much I missed him. When I went to a football game I found myself wanting to be a soccer mom. I could picture myself taking my son to every activity under the sun. When I went shopping I saw books and movies that I knew he would love. I could have driven myself to tears in the middle of the mall. I just kept going because I knew that I could enjoy these same activities when he got back. See I don’t need to be a supermom who tries to give my son different things to make him happy. I just have to give him my attention and love. You know that song by the Beatles “Can’t Buy Me Love“. I lived that for 3 years of my life. My son’s father would go on shopping sprees whether it was food or movies and get everything he thought we needed. The one thing he couldn’t give me was the love and attention that my soul yearned for. Don’t get me wrong having a movie every now and then was great. I just wanted him to say how much he appreciated me. Every day I would fill his water bottles so he would have something to drink when he went to work. I made sure he had clean clothes to wear when he went to work. I cleaned the dishes so we would have something to eat on. I cleaned the houses so it would look nice when he brought his friends over. No matter what I did I just didn’t feel appreciated. Now when I do something I am just glad to get a simple thank you because it means the world to me.
Published by Sara Gamachu
I am a person who enjoys writing. I started as a Stay At Home mom and wife trying to find something to do as I was raising my son. Now I am working hard trying to take care of myself. View all posts by Sara Gamachu