11/27/13

Identity

Aka, “Who am I?”

By Sara Gamachu

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

I never thought I would have my own identity. For a long time I was known as the Pastor’s daughter or Sunshine’s wife. Soon I have become G’s mom. Being a mom is a wonderful feeling. I am not sure if it is easy on my son. I will give him a few years before I ask him. Lately I have become protective of my son when it came to introducing him to the East African community. I did not want him to feel any stigma of being the grandson of____. You see I want him to feel incredible about himself. See my son is biracial. Not that it is a big deal. I am very lucky that my family tree is very bicultural. Therefore, that is not something I have to worry about. When I left his father, I did not expect to be welcomed back into the African community so warmly. In fact, for me it was a huge culture shock. See even though I have lived a majority of my life in America I could never relate to either anyone in either the African American or the African communities.

The fascinating part of my little trip is also to help me heal and identify myself as a person. I am discovering that I do have thoughts that are different from my family. I want to prepare myself to be the best mother to my son that I can be. I want him to be able to accept and know his African heritage as well as his American roots. I remember when I was in court for my divorce hearing how much I requested of the judge to change one of my son’s middle names to my maiden name. My fear was that he would not know about his mother’s background and family. As I have told a close family friend’s children, that G was as much an African American as they were. He is fortunate to have the chance to identify with both the American community as well as the East African community. I just hope that one day he can come and ask me about my family background. I am sure he would be proud to identify himself as a true African American. I know that I am fortunate to have both an American and East African background.

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