I am hoping that everyone is doing well these days. I have decided to write my next few posts (including my last 2-3 entries) using the Daily Prompts that I have been receiving in my email. I have not quite posted a lot lately due to my spotty internet access. I have been writing though in my journal. It is like taking a little break and having to adjust to my new environment. I thought at least for the month of April I could use the Daily Prompts from WordPress to get me back on track. Some of the entries will be deep and others might seem like rambling. I want my Readers to know how much I truly appreciate them. I recently got a chance to watch Eat, Pray, Love with Julia Roberts. I remember that was one of the last gifts my ex-husband gave it to me as a gift. Three movies Eat, Pray, Love, Easy A, and I can’t remember the third one. I remember how happy I was to watch them because I was going through that homemaker working hard lifestyle. I never got a chance to finish Easy A but trust me it is on my to do list. I remember how happy I was to watch Julia’s character have the courage to change her life. It
was one of those things that I said “Huh… I wonder if this was it for me.” Another interesting thing was I was reading Waiting to Exhale by Toni Morrison (I think.) I had seen the movie so many times and loved the soundtrack. I find it to be interesting that my husband got me some books for me to read and that was one of them. It took me a few months to read, but by the end, I could see almost every scene in my mind. Again, I found myself wondering if this was it for me. Was I to continue to be married to someone who did not appreciate me? I cried some nights because I could see myself in Angela Basset’s character and yet I wished I could have been Whitney Houston’s character. I wondered if I would be like Loretta Divine’s character. Yes, I stood by my man for three long years. I argued with my parents saying that he loved me and was the one. I ignored many of the red flags as we dated. I remember one day he told me that he would rather be old and unhappy than get divorced. Well
naive me I always said I would not leave. I mean here as a person who swept me off my feet. Taking me out to different places and holding hands as we walked through the park. Yeah it was that kind of a happy ending. Then of course, there were the nights that he would ignore me and say he was too tired from work to want to spend time together. Now I am not a material girl… no I earned things the old-fashioned way… working hard and gaining the respect of others. He thought if he bought me things that it would make up for him being so emotionally distant. He told me that he worked so hard so we could live the lifestyle that we were used to. I was blunt and said that I would trade that new movie for some quality time.
No readers I think in a way I was all the character’s from Waiting to Exhale all rolled into one. I was scared to leave at first. It took a lot of courage to finally say enough was enough. He may not have physically hurt me… but every word he used to make me into the stereotypical African American woman hurt so much more. So this is an example of me writing/talking at the same time. This is just a taste of what will be coming in the next few entries. So if you want to continue traveling with me on this journey of Starting Over in 2013. Keep reading. I am going to try to add more pictures and who knows you might even see the real Sara in one of these posts. Feel free to share this blog with your friends. Because I know somewhere out there are men, women, and children who are going through the healing stages of life and wanting someone to stand up and say “I have been there!” So here’s to April 2014!