Internet ; Friends ; Family ; Relationship ; Creative Writing

Lately I wondered how my life could have been different if I had made different choices. I have decided to refer to my son’s father as “Mr. S*.” I was going through one of my many transitions in life when I found Mr. S. I was looking for some friends in my area. I was not really looking for love or anything like that. I guess I thought that part of my life has passed me by and that I needed to just find someone to just hang out with. My doctor at the time wanted me to use the internet less for the virtual world and more look into reality. Well for me being social in the real world was difficult. I was in a way a social butterfly who was able to quote the entertainment facts without skipping a beat. It had been a few months since I had sunk in the world of virtual avatars. I was going on constantly each night to meet my so called friends and have virtual parties and just hang out. Basically whatever I wanted to do in the real world I ended up doing it via the internet. I was part of virtual relationships (dating, families, and whatnot). I admit I had a ball. My character/avatar usually was the one everyone could talk to about their problem. Yep I was the virtual counselor. Sometimes our real life issues would blend into our virtual life. So as soon as I would log in… literally the doctor was in. For a while the thrill of being wanted and needed was too great for me. It basically was too powerful readers. I had to hold a friends head up as she virtually vomited from a night of partying. I kid you not. I was the aunt to virtual kids. Yep, sadly another true fact from my computer-generated life. Only a few times was I the bride and not the bride’s maid in a virtual wedding. Honestly… the guy ditched me at the virtual altar and that caused a virtual depression that grew into a real aggression. Why oh why was I not wanted by anyone? Why didn’t I have a boyfriend? Yep… that is about the time that I met “Mr. S”. He was my night and shining armor coming to save me from my depression in both the virtual and real world. While my other friends went on to the IMVU world I decided that the whole thing was just not for me. I wanted the real deal: roses, nights out, and everything that went with the dating world. Boy did I ever get it. It took a few flirts via the social website, several notes going back and forth when “Mr. S.” finally asked me out for a movie. We met at a movie theater in downtown for our first date. To my shock their stood this young man a few years my junior (no remember I was in my 30s) with a dozen yellow roses. Now I my jaw nearly dropped. I never thought I would receive a beautiful bouquet… not even on a first date. So began our 9 months of getting to know each other.

These days as I watch the popular show Catfish on MTV I would feel for the young people who are asking Neve to help them with meeting their mate from online relationships. It even got me writing about how much my relationship was very similar. What would have happened if I had asked more questions? Would we have gotten married so fast? Would he have broken up with me if he knew I was terrified of him. Did I see red flags when I remember him getting upset when I had to head back to mainland when we were on a date? So it took me almost 3 months to finish this entry and well… I think I will close it on this note. Yes my life would have been different had I been braver and asked more questions. Take my advice don’t fall for the first person who gives you a dozen roses on the first date. Sure it would have been fantastic… but what about the dates afterwards

*Why have I changed his name to Mr. S? Well I was inspired by the movie The Nanny Diaries to use aliases for names of people.

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