Saturday the 15th.

It’s been a long few weeks. My heart did its usual slip and slide trying to compete against the norm of this society. I collect music like seashells on a beach. Some soothes me while others energize me. I feel this wanting to catapult out of my sheltered home into the big wide world that I was once part of.

I wrote a post that really told my readers how I felt. It was needed to get it out of my system. I feel as if I am painted as this sophisticated American social girl who loves to tweet and post things constantly. I would hate to burst the bubble, but that was how I used to be. Would I return to that life I will never really know?

There are times I feel like I shouldn’t want anything. I forget that I had worked hard to get to where I am. I am a person who put their whole heart into helping people. Yes, I got hurt by someone I thought loved me. But as the group Fun says in one of their hits I need to “Carry On”.

I was reminded by a person that referred me to the Fun single that I can’t judge the men of this world by this one person. At that time, I couldn’t understand what he meant. I was so filled with the hurt and deep emotional wounds inflicted on me. Now I am learning that people can actually like me without even knowing my story. I am a likeable person with a heart of gold.

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2/5/17

2/5/17 Health update, Politics, Devices, and Grey’s Anatomy.

My body has been feeling really well since I began taking my new evening medicine. I have been able to sleep and wake up feeling as if I had been floating on a cloud. I think that is better than feeling like I was on a boat tossed about at sea. I decided for the first few days I would take my morning medicines and let my body relax until it is fully awake. That means I can allow myself to rest a few extra minutes since I generally get up quickly and move about without giving myself a least a few minutes to adjust from laying down for several hours to being awake and off and running. I am also waiting for the outside work to be done so I can restart my walking routine. I had to take a break since I had a cold and a separate infection that put a breather on my morning stamina.

Everything is revolving around the travel ban that Trump had ordered a week ago. I am so proud of being a Washingtonian because a judge had the guts to say “This is not right!” I feel as if things are in limbo for everyone not just the refugees. This will touch their families and friends. I am still reeling from how something could even come up.

This is America the land of diversity. At least that was the America I grew up in.

It is almost time to go to bed. I have been able to hook up the laptop to charge overnight. I am feeling a little better after I spoke to mom about this laptop. I just felt like I needed to make sure it was God’s will before I began to go ahead and change over. My little heart just couldn’t take it if I took something that was not meant for me. I have to get over the feeling that I don’t deserve things. I have been working hard the last few years just to get over my broken heart.

I saw an episode of Grey’s Anatomy tonight. I have been trying to follow up on things I haven’t seen the last few years. This show is the epidemy of Seattle community of doctors. I am not sure how much behind I am. The last couple shows I caught this week showed Derek Shepherd getting into an accident. This is not a surprising plot since he is after a doctor at Seattle Grey. Now I have discovered that he had died in the last few episodes.

I will be honest I felt the shock that most fans felt when they saw this season. I couldn’t believe that Patrick Dempsey’s character was gone. He was part of the original cast from when this series began a while back. He was dreamy and smart. Everyone watching the show couldn’t help, but fall for him. Well I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised. Alas that is how show business works.

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