I took a few days off from writing and posting on my blog. The tension of life lead me to fatigue that made SAD symptoms look alike. The rain would come at sporadic times so you never knew if it was teasing or not. We have had a lot happen here with some construction work that didn’t come to par to some illnesses that tested my patience. My mom tells me that we are going through a test and that a blessing is at the end of the tunnel. My faith and hope bounced up and down trying to find a medium happy point. At least I made myself rest when my body asked for it. My appetite was a roller coaster ride that I never knew if it would come to a sudden stop or just keep going.

It got to the point that I took off a lot of my social media apps (except for the calling ones) so I could from my phone to prove that I wasn’t addicted to the internet. Yes, that is something I deal with on the daily basis. I went a week without too much trouble. As a reward, I added a few back to help me get back on my self-expression wagon. Okay honestly I felt miserable since that was my way of coping with the tension. It was during this time that I finished my F. Scott Fitzgerald book on my iPod touch. It was a wonderful feeling to see that someone like me with mental illness could make such treasures in the literature world. It also gave me hope that I too can do something similar.

As I collected songs for my Apple Music library I found a part of me feel the pleasure of finding a new gem in my life. I was able to travel back in time to the beginning of the millennium and enjoy the music of Cher and Avicii. I realized that in the last few years that I had gone through some hits with Kelly Clarkson which showed how much I had changed. My body image proved to be perfect with the Megan Trainor hit “All About the Bass”. Music gave me something to look forward to and filled in the blanks of my depression. I was finally at home with myself through songs that reminded me that I was a wonderful woman. I am strong and through everything I could accomplish anything. That is something I have wanted for longer than most people will realize.

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