Its the first Monday in July and my heart was a flutter. What all could I do to improve myself. Well first on my mind was to make a few calls that I decided to put off to today what I couldn’t do last Friday. My mind told me it was probably going to be a long weekend since a holiday was coming up. I suddenly realized it would be my first 4th of July back in the States. Wow the last time I did this was back in 2013.
I didn’t allow myself to feel bad that I couldn’t really remember the last time. My memory was a little hazy with the medicine I had been taking to help with my anxiety at that time. I knew that my son was with me and it would be our first and last holiday together in a very long time. I recalled the year before how I was trying to blow up his swimming accessory tube so he could go playing in the pool with his cousin. As hard as I blew it just wouldn’t do it. I finally asked his father to help since my breath was not strong enough. I knew as this memory taunted me I felt the anger that I couldn’t do something as simple as that. Than I had to tell myself that it wasn’t my fault that I did try and that took guts. Remember Molly you did as for help. It wasn’t your fault that you were taunted for not being able to do something.
Just asking for help is a huge thing reader. Just think how many people actually ask for help when they know they can’t do something. As yourself that next time someone asks you to help them.
Fast forward to today. I knew the last few weeks had been hard for me. I was lucky I had a support group who recognized when I needed help. Just raising your hand or making that phone call to get a specialist that takes courage from the person. They are their to answer your question. There is no stupid questions. That is what so many people have told me. I just had to trust myself to have the courage to say, “Excuse me do you have my current information on file?” It can mean less embarrassment or anxiety when you go to that appointment.
Thank you for reading and that is my thought for Monday, July 2nd 2018.