If you might have noticed, the blog is under a new address.  I decided to take the plunge and upgraded to a premium plan.  It has been something that I wanted to do for a while.  I thought now would be a good time to try something new and improved.  I decided to update the name from a refresh to restore.  Because I am feeling like I am taking back my life and getting better after a few years of healing. 

One of the best things I can do is have access to unlimited premium themes that I can customize the colors and designs.  So every couple of days, I explore items to find. I wanted to be stand up during this time in history to be counted with my unique style of writing and sharing.

If you noticed on my sidebar, there are some videos that I have added for people to watch.  One video was how a father took on the challenge of the project of helping his daughter with a hairstyle change.  I heard that it had received an Oscar this year.  After watching it myself, I can see why.  I have been on the other end of the person getting her hair braided.  It is not easy.  The other videos are music that I have come to enjoy the themes of helping one’s self by being kind to one another.  I feel that music can heal even the smallest part of one’s heart.

When I was in Ethiopia, music became the way that I would walk around the fountain area that has turned into a tabletop area.  I would put my earphones on with some inspiring music and just walked to my heart’s content, and even when I didn’t want to exercise, the music helped me feel better.

I would tell people that I was a blogger and tried to explain what that meant.  My writing was how I expressed my thoughts and how I was feeling at that time.  My goal was to someday write a book about my life and use my blogging audience as a starter to see if I was worth it.  That was around 2014, when I was trying to figure out what I wanted.  I understood that internet accessibility was limited.  I then made up my mind to do a little bit each time.  Whether it is music, writing, or using apps.  I had to realize that somethings just were not really possible at the time.  One of these things was talking to my son.  I kid you not the internet was very similar to using dial-up internet minus the beeping sound.  In 2014 I missed visits because the internet was slow, and I couldn’t get online on time.  It broke my heart, knowing that he was hurt for not being able to see me at the appointed time.  After it was brought to my attention that he was upset that I was not on time or not even online at all.  I depressed me because I wouldn’t want to hurt him in any way, instead of trying to explain that the internet access was poor at the time.   I just stopped communicating and let him spend as much time with his father. 

It broke my heart, and I would ask people in town why this was happening.  People would give me a funny look like this was normal.  I would get irritated and say no this is not normal to a young child who missed his mother.  I then made up my mind to do whatever it took to get better and figure out how to get back into his life.  I knew it wouldn’t be easy.  Making sure that I was strong enough to travel back to the States was the first thing.  I would send emails trying to explain what was happening on my end.  

Three years later, I took a break from blogging to work part-time and have a job to add to my resume.  That was why I hadn’t written a lot this year.  I realized that I have a difficult time focusing on one thing at a time.  I also was having a difficult time sleeping, so I needed to do one thing at a time.  Balance my everyday life than gradually add stuff as I can.  So this post is my way of adding a little bit each time.